End Of The Affair

Once upon a time a young girl was so happy to have an Easy Bake Oven. One day she was preparing to make the most beautiful and delicate cake in her new oven. However, she forgot to remove the plastic tray used to slide the cake pan into the oven. The tray melted under the awesome strength of the cooking bulb within, thus making it impossible to use the oven. Several years later the young girl was given a Girl Gourmet Cupcake Maker! Wonder of wonders!

Okay, so the young girl is me. I was watching Barefoot Contessa (recorded on my DVR!) and she was making scones. Ina made it look so easy. I thought, I'll show her easy and I got out my Girl Gourmet Christmas gift. Here are the steps that followed.

This is the cupcake mix. You just add a little water, mix, and pour into provided cupcake paper cup and then into plastic cup.

Then you place the cupcake into the steamer, pop it in the microwave for 25 seconds, remove the lid and this is what you see. It smelled very pastry-esque so I continued.

Then you load the icing (mixed in the same manner as the cake mix) and load it into this icing gun thing. You place the pre-nuked cupcake under the icing gun and push down on the lever. The cupcake spins round and round and back and forth in the slot to create a professional icing swirl design.

This is what actually happened. It oozed all the way down to the bottom chamber holder thingy. No worries. I decided to proceed yet again.

Yes, they even give you decorative sprinkles! I liberally sprinkled them on my delicate and now odd smelling cupcake. I took my highly anticipated first bite. It tasted a bit like...cardboard.

I threw it in the trash with shimmers of disappointed tears in my eyes. It was so gross, if they were a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean they would be called "bilecake" or "cardboard cup". It's such a shame because I used to love cupcakes; now I think I may be turned off of them forever, the affair is done. I think I'll leave the baking to my heroes on the Food Network. So, if you know anyone without taste buds that would be interested in receiving (no purchase necessary!) my Girl Gourmet Cupcake Maker with three remaining cupcake mixes and frosting mixes be sure to send them my way. Well, better go, my stomach is starting to cramp.